Sunday Reflections - Peering over the edge...................

I'm on the edge. The threshold. The precipice.

Walking the fine line.

The fine line between my healthy, energetic, happy self (love her). And the sick, tired and moody self (don't want to be her). The self that needs to rely on adrenaline to get through her day. The self that feels anxious.

And I'm determined not to fall over that edge. I've been there before and its a sharp and steep downward fall. A scary place to be. And a slow, tough and expensive climb to get back out.

If you've been following along you know that I battle with food sensitivities, adrenal fatigue, shoulder pain, digestive problems, nutrient deficiencies and Candida overgrowth. Which, for me, translate into stomach aches, pain, fatigue, insomnia, anemia/low B12/vitamin D and moodiness. Sounds fun doesn't it.

You have to go back a couple of posts to find out how I got back to this state after changing my lifestyle so dramatically and feeling so great.

Basically, I made a huge life change (for the better) this fall which put a lot of stress on my body. It taxed my formerly broken and delicate adrenals past their comfort zone. Which fired up my anxiety, insomnia and sugar/carb cravings. Which got me eating more sugar and grains than my system can handle. Which fired my Candida back up.

But how bad is it?

Adrenals: They are desperately clinging for control. I wouldn't say I'm in a full adrenal crisis but like I said, I'm on the verge.

My anxiety was starting to latch onto my brain. I was getting fearful of everything. And I'm not talking horror movies. I'm talking the News. Howling wind. Loud bangs. Global warming. And it was starting to latch onto my body. Racing heart. Insomnia.

So I've gone back to my adrenal diet. I've cut back on the sugar dramatically. I've stopped eating grains. And I'm making sure I get regular protein. Oh yeah, and I'm popping adrenal support pills like candy.

Its working on the anxiety (the mental and physical manifestations). Just gotta get my sleep back under control.

Candida: When I started eating sugar and carbs in Nov/Dec I was pretty excited. It didn't seem to be affecting my Candida. Woo hoo - maybe I beat it for good. My moods were still good. Other than the anxiety I actually felt pretty good.

Until I didn't. BAM. It hit me hard.

Lesson learned. Back to the Candida diet. But this time I'm easing back into it. I'm not going back to the strict phase with no fruit - I'm doing a modified version. And its helping.  My hunger levels and cravings are a ghost of what they were a month again. I'm getting it back under control. I'm might have to go back to the strict phase and anti-fungals eventually. Only time (and moods) will tell.

Digestion: This is the weird part. My stomach is doing weird (and absolutely NOT wonderful) things. I've had three "colitis" type flares in the past month. They last for a few days and they kick the crap out of me (no pun intended - lol). They leave me feeling really sick and exhausted. This has not been a pattern for me in the past. My digestive problems were of a different nature.

So I'm not sure what is going on. The remnants of a stomach flu? Maybe. But I think my gut was finally healed. And maybe that healed gut is a lot less tolerant of invaders than my formerly damaged and desensitized stomach. The big downside of going clean and healing your gut. Apparently it won't let you cheat. Its going to tell you loud and clear.

So that's the status.

I'm sorry if you come here for hope and inspiration. That's what I want to give you. I want to be the poster child for healing your gut and adrenals the all natural way.  But above all else I'm an honest person. And honestly, its not always easy. My body is all over the place right now. I'm having some hard days and some long nights. And for those of you that are going through and/or have been through this, I know that above all else sometimes it just helps to know that you are not alone. And you are most definitely not alone.

I don't have a full fledged plan just yet. I'm taking this one day at a time. But I do have hope that I'll work my way through this. Wish me luck, send me positive thoughts.

And if you see me, probably best not to offer me a piece of cake.

DISCLAIMER/CORRECTION NOTICE: Please NOTE that my HUSBAND DOES NOT SMOKE. He's been raking me over the coals about my previous post on Sugar. He feels I suggested that he was a smoker. I didn't intend to. He does not smoke and has never smoked. There. Now that I cleared the air (another pun joke - I"m on fire - OMG - I can't stop) I can continue on with my day. Have a good one!